Update on Life

My last few posts have always started with me apologizing for my lack of posts. I always feel bad whenever time gets away from me or I procrastinate, because I actually do enjoy writing. To be honest, I have been putting off making a new post for a while now because I couldn’t think of anything to write about.

This time I will not make excuses. Besides, bogging is not something mandatory, but something I do for fun. That being said, I want to work on being more consistent with posting.

Part of the reason I put off blogging was because of my indecision on what kind of post to make. I have done all sorts of different things in the past. I have made posts on health & wellness and weekly themes, like Poetry Fridays, and others. Maybe it would help to get an idea of what kind of content you guys would like to read. I always have my favourite subjects (i.e. music, etc.), of course, but I want to have content that’s creative and interesting. So, what do you think? Let me know what kind of blogging you’d like to see me do!

Anyways, if you’ve been wondering what’s been going on in my life over these past months, let me tell you. In one word: school. In more words, life’s been crazy as usual. However, it hasn’t always been bad crazy – there’s been some good in there too. For example, I’ve had the chance to make a few new friends this year, which is great. I love meeting new awesome people. After the few months in which I was walking around as through a thick fog – a time also known as winter – I began to make some changes in my life. I have wanted to be consistent in my devotions and prayer life for quite some time, but have struggled to get in and keep up that habit. Accountability is a great thing. It’s really helpful to have someone else to meet with, even if I then go and do my own thing. It motivates me to keep up with it and not give up, if I have someone who’s expecting me to meet them. I’ve found that starting my day in God’s presence positively affects the rest of the day and has made me more aware and engaged in daily life. I’m not sure if it’s been quite a month yet, but I’d say I’m off to a good start in making this a long-term habit!

That’s all for now folks! So, share your thoughts (in the comments) on what content I should do here. Here’s a song I discovered today: Everyday People by Morgan Harper Nichols.

Scatterbrained Thoughts

Mental illness, in general, is not something that is openly or widely discussed. It’s difficult because it is unlike other problems that you can physically see, like a broken bone. It’s also a shameful thing to admit to others because of the negativity and stigma associated with mental illness. For that reason and more, I want to spend some time today talking about this subject – specifically anxiety.

Anxiety is something that everyone experiences to some degree. However, not everyone experiences it to extent where it becomes a disorder. It’s all too easy to get stuck in your own mind, feeling alone. Anxiety can be overwhelming and extremely draining. Your mind races with all kinds of negative thoughts and self-talk.

I know what it’s like to live with anxiety. I have struggled with Generalized Anxiety Disorder for about three years now – (only officially diagnosed this year). One thing I think people can underestimate is the power of encouragement. It doesn’t even have to be anything huge. Little things, like a kind and uplifting word, can increase my mood and ease my mental stress. I am much better at giving out encouragement than I am at being supportive and kind to myself. This is where friends and family can be really helpful.

I have been struggling this year with self-criticism. I often blame myself for things that may not even be my fault. I jump to the conclusion “I must have done something wrong… or offensive…. or annoying”. And the list goes on. I continue to remind myself to not be so hard. I have really appreciated the friends that have stepped into my life and held me accountable and helped exactly when I needed it.

All this to say that it can be really hard to live with a mental illness. You often feel broken or even paralyzed to act. Just because someone appears to be happy, doesn’t mean they truly are. This next statement is true for me (and I’m sure for others as well): We do not want you to pull away from us because you are unsure of how to help or act around us. All we need is someone who will stay by our side and be a faithful friend. Be a listening ear when we need to vent, a shoulder to cry on, and someone to have fun and live life with.

All of this does not have to be a monumental task. After all – as the saying goes – “Many hands make light work.” You can often accomplish much more in a team than you can individually. So there are my thoughts on anxiety for the day. Let me know your experience on this subject!

Note: For anyone reading this, know you are loved and valued. You are never alone.

Have a good night friends!

Coffee Confessions

I do not always participate in Lent, however this year I decided to give up coffee. It’s better for anxiety to be caffeine free; caffeine increases you heart rate and makes panic attacks more likely. So, I decided that 40 days without coffee would be a good start for going caffeine free.

So, I thought the first week was going to be the hardest because of caffeine withdrawl. However, that was not how things panned out. It was difficult to transition at the start. After that it got a little easier. Then, when it was two weeks away from Easter, I began to crave caffeine again. It was almost as if my body was saying: “you can almost have coffee again!” Fighting with your own body isn’t very fun…

Almost immediately after the fight with myself, my personal life took a nose dive. Suddenly I had much more to worry about than not drinking coffee. So… that was a good thing, I guess? Not really, but hey, life hasn’t been all bad. This year has already had its good moments as well. Right now I’m having a rough time, but that happens in life. Life is not always a bed of roses, sometimes winter is long. I just have to keep holding on until spring comes and surround myself with the positive and supportive people in my life.

Anyways, this was not meant to be a depressing post… so here are some pictures of Boston Terrier puppies to give you good feelings.

As you can tell, I love Boston Terriers. I’m a little biased because my family owns one. But I’m not crazy, they are sweet, loving and have great personalities! Cuddling with my Boston is one of my favourite ways to feel better when I’m down.

I hope you all have a wonderful week! What are your favourite ways to get out of a downward spiral?

Your Breath

The other day, during worship we sang a song that’s relatively new to me. It struck a chord (pun not intended) in me. The song is “Great Are You Lord” by All Sons and Daughters. I hope you are encouraged, as I was.

The words of the chorus especially have a strong impact on me every time I hear and sing it.

It’s your breath in our lungs.

So we pour out our praise

We pour out our praise.

It’s your breath in our lungs

So we pour out our praise to you only.

This song holds a special meaning to me because I first heard it soon after being diagnosed with asthma last winter. It is a scary thing to not be able to breathe properly. It took some time to get my asthma under control with the right level of medication. However, through struggling to breathe, I developed a new sense of appreciation for each breath I’m given.

People don’t normally have to think about or concentrate on about breathing, it just naturally happens. So it can easily be taken for granted. My past experience and daily life are now a constant reminder that each breath I have is a precious gift. I give praise to God for the life He gives, for each breath and every new day to learn and walk with Him.

You give life, You are love

You bring light to the darkness

You give hope, You restore

Every heart that has been broken.

Great are You Lord.

God fills and sustains us. He enables us to grow in Him and fulfill our purpose. And through whatever fear, struggle or hardship we’re facing, He is right there with us. He is the light that illuminates our life and guides our way. We can trust in Him.

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” ~Psalm 18:2