I have had a few shocking eye-openers recently. Some people I had called friends, even ‘best’ friends, showed off their true colours – and as you can probably understand from the tone of this message, it was not in a good way.
Honestly, it’s very disheartening. After years of me investing into these friendships, I’m only finding out now that they are not trustworthy or were just using me for what they could gain. Yes, I may be a nice, thoughtful person, but that doesn’t make me a push-over and I do have limits.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” – Randall Terry
So, you think you can take advantage of my generous and good nature? Think you can get away with doing things that break my trust? Well sorry, but, that’s not what I call a friend. Friendship should be a two-way street. It’s not just about what you can get from someone, it’s about what you can give. A true friend should be someone you can trust with secrets and who respects you.
Dictionary.com says a ‘friend’ is: “A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.” However, friendship goes beyond simply caring about someone. It means that the care you have for someone causes you to do things with and for that person. Let’s think about the second definition they give: “a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter”. Is that what my friendships look like or am I the only one who is caring and giving support? Someone who truly cares about you will be honest; they won’t do things behind your back or just use you.
So, where do we go from here? For me, I’m in the process of, and have already, weeded out some of these negative influences in my life. It’s really hard because of the connection and years of memories with these individuals, but I feel it is necessary for me to move forward. I’m a life-long learner and I’m always trying to make myself better. Right now I’m learning that sometimes in order to move forward you to have to let go of the things behind you.
Through all of the let-downs and failed relationships, I’ve found out the people who are worth developing friendships with. And these thoughts have stood out to me:
“There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” – C.S. Lewis
“‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
To end on a positive note, here is a fun video of Rhett and Link, “Just Being Honest”.